Confidence

He said, “I love a woman with confidence.”  And me being myself decided to ask him what that meant.  I figured, why not. I have heard a number of men tell me that there’s nothing like a woman with confidence.  Some would go as far to say that she didn’t even have to be the prettiest or the most fashionable…just confident.  As I grappled with my attempt to understand his explanation, I still didn’t get it…didn’t make much sense to me.  If women don’t need to be physically beautiful, why is the beauty industry a trillion dollar industry?  Like seriously, I don’t need to primp my hair, fix my toes, color my eye lids, and constantly fight the need to not eat pizza and go to the gym!  As long as I am confident in myself and my abilities, he will want me!?! Where is this man? I want him and I’m waiting to marry him.
 
When I asked my question about makeup and looks, the conversation took a different turn.  “Well, you still need to do that stuff.” Like OMGoodness, a chick can’t get a break.  I thought you said you love confidence!  In my attempt to understand, I looked up the definition (because that is also very much so me).  And simple enough, confidence is just the belief in oneself, a trust in one’s own abilities. I am wishing it was more difficult than that, but it isn’t.  So, if I believe that people will love me and treat me right, then that’s what’s going to happen because I trust it.  That’s confidence.  I believe it.  I trust it.  So, I project it. And it’ll attract what I want to attract because I believe it. #confidence  I don’t believe that is true. I really don’t believe confidence is the right word.
 
I honestly think the right word is arrogance.  Men love arrogance – the display and presumption of importance. I say that because confidence has nothing to do with looks, but arrogance does.  Confidence requires that we trust in our abilities, trust in who we are, trust in our design.  Arrogance on the other hand, requires that we assume what others want and tell them that they want it. Confidence doesn’t change because our character and design doesn’t change.  If we are a loving person, we will always be that. If we have a dry sense of humor, we will always have that.  Arrogance, however, adjusts according to the situation. If we want a better rate, we project what we assume will get us that rate. If we want entrance to the hottest party, we dress the way we assume will get us in there.  It’s not who we are.
 
We, men and women, are more than just what’s projected for others to pay attention.  We are the innate design of a Spirit of Love that cannot be quenched by human stupidity.  We are purposed for greater than what others have projected we should be, for, their projections are only to use our design for their gain.  We are uniquely and collectively beautiful in a destructive world.  I truly believe that when we learn to speak love, joy, and peace; display kindness, goodness, long and patient endurance; exercise faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control towards others, then anger, envy, divisions, addictive behaviors, hate, and the like will no longer be a thing for us to protest or fight. There would be no fear of judgement because we would all be beautiful and loved. And in that, I have confidence.
 
​People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross