Hair Loss

I feel like pulling my hair out. Seriously!! Three major holidays are swiftly approaching and I have NO earthly idea of what I’m going to do. I just don’t feel prepared.  Who’s cooking Thanksgiving?  Who’s house? What do I get people for Christmas? What am I doing for New Year’s?  And…How much can I comfortably spend? Even, what are my goals for 2016? I’m over it before it even begins. All this contemplating and thinking, I believe, is causing me to lose my hair. I’m assured of it. Everyday…more and more hair is falling out in globs, which causes more stress.
 
Now, most would say…just go to a doctor. Or get some Rogaine.  Or why all the stress…it’s just you. But honestly, I tried to relax one year and spend time by myself during a holiday. Oh, Lord, the response was tremendous. ‘How dare you spend a holiday by yourself?’ ‘Don’t you ever do that again?’ ‘We have plenty.’ ‘That’s sad.’ Blah. Blah. Blah. I love them dearly, but sometimes my family and friends drive me nuts! If it weren’t for my weak stomach, I probably would be a functioning alcoholic and thereby have a logical excuse for my thinning hair.
 
I don’t understand the problem considering most of my year (at minimum 85% of it) is solitary. Not one phone call, hug, etc. as the days go by…so why are people so bent on sharing time for just one day (a half of one at that). It’s a little disconcerting. All of a sudden November and December (outside of Mother’s and Father’s day), your existence becomes extremely important to everyone; and your social events triple to the point where you are juggling two to three per day. Then January through October, you return to the abyss of solitude whose depth has been interpreted by the interaction of the previous months. Everyone falls back into their own routine…including forgetting you.
 
It’s a harsh reality many face; and for some, the defining moment of life and death. You can’t get comfortable and fully enjoy the holiday season because it ends abruptly leaving you with the bitterness of being alone again. You feel the joy. You feel loved. But it’s only for a moment.  Every year, you lose hope of it lasting. And every year, it gets harder to handle. I understand it. I comprehend it. Heck, I feel it. But luckily for me, I’m just losing my hair.
 
“Loneliness accepted becomes a gift leading one from a life dominated by tears to the discovery of one's true self and finally to the heart of longing and the love of God.” ~Author Unknown