Suffering Defeat

I had such a hard run today. Aside from the peering raccoon, racing rabbits, and other beings from the animal kingdom I faced this week, today’s run was seriously difficult. I pushed myself, not to any exhaustive limit; but I did push. I could’ve pushed a little harder, but, I was already in pain from the last run (which so happen to occur after a softball game). It seemed as though everything was pulling and tightening and…just plain uncomfortable. I so want to just lie in the bed for the next few days, but I have 19 more miles to win this war, so giving up is not an option for me at this point.

But what if it was?  What if, I backed out of this thing with no penalty? What if, I could get all of the money, sweat, time, and tears back, no questions asked? A full refund…would I take it? Should I accept defeat and move on? Most people don’t believe I can finish it anyways, so why even bother with trying to finish a race I was never meant to run. And honestly, I’m not gaining or losing anything if I don’t finish. Ergo, giving up is of no consequence.

Maybe that’s the problem with today’s society. No one is ever held responsible; or suffers the consequences of their own actions. We either blame it on God, our parents, or even the media as if they are the full authority of the decisions we make. Sure, they have heavy influences, yet our minds are controlled by our own wants, needs, and desires. Thereby, our actions are the result of the thoughts in our mind culminated in the desires of our heart.

And our heart is where we suffer the greatest defeat, physically and mentally. Consider this: when the heart dies, the mind dies, and the rest of the body dies along with it. On the other hand, if the mind dies, the heart can still function and the body, though lifeless, can still function. The blood makes a difference: the heart pumps blood through all the veins in the body. It connects the heart to the mind to the body so that we can live, move, and have our being. Therefore, as long as the blood is moving within our veins, to give up and suffer defeat is a choice. As long as we live, there is some victory that can be won (even with roadblocks, detours, and setbacks). Though it may not be won based on how we planned it, it’s the end that’s makes the pain all worth it.

Yes, today, I was physically (and mentally) defeated. But, I kept going. I refuse to give up and wave the white flag to the haters and naysayers. Apparently, it’s in my heart to do, so my mind just has to follow instructions!

While one may encounter many defeats, one must not be defeated.” ― Maya Angelou