Why Did I Get Married (Part 1)

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I got married during my two-year hiatus from writing (the hiatus was longer than two years, but that’s a different discussion). Everyone has asked me two questions… “How did you all meet?” and “How does it feel to be married?” So, I will answer them in part.
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HOW DID WE MEET? It was this time, two years ago where this love affair really began. We met at work through some friends. Truly, I believe it had to be God’s divine intervention, for we would’ve never met otherwise. If you were to look on the spectrum of likeness on the outside… we are on opposite ends. Me, the adventurous scuba-diving, jumping off something traveler who loves to eat. Him, the always on the scene, always balling (basketball, that is) martial artist. On the inside, we are very much so alike. We are both very family oriented, love to laugh, love Jesus. We both have a vision of the future that aligns when we are together. We both work hard, and we both have overcome serious hurt from previous relationships.
I do not mention overcoming hurts lightly, for if we hadn’t overcome those previous hurts, we would not have made it to marriage. It’s very important to stress that for the both of us. I will admit, sometimes I would compile mine above his as if his were insignificant.  And then I have to remember how hurt I felt when I my feelings were disregarded and scraped. I had to become available to receive everything he was willing to give me, and his whole heart was included. That’s how we met. Two people who found safety in each other.    

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MARRIED? I am completely frightened. It is a complete change of scenery for me and I am afraid to mess it up. The loves in my previous relationships enjoyed the fruit of my presence yet could care less about my existence. So long as I expended all of me to them, they were happy. When I asked for the return on my investment, I would be sabotaged into believing that I was asking for too much. Everything wrong was my fault, so they could leave without remorse. This man, however, thought it not robbery to invest his whole self into my being, dedicating himself to making it work. He only asked that I keep his peace in return.
I kept his peace because of my anxiety, in turn he kept my heart because he wanted to love me. Everything I needed (and didn’t know I needed), he gave freely. If I need reassurance, he gives it. If I need attention, he gives it. If I need food, he orders it. Imagine the transition of mindset it takes from being ignored to being the forefront of someone’s attention and affection. That’s what it feels like to be married. Well, at least for me. Right now. At this moment. Ask me again in a few days after he leaves his jacket in the middle of floor next to the closet!

" You're my morning star shining brightly beside me, And if we keep this love, We will last through all eternity. Just the way we are I love it, love it, It's just the way it should be" ~ Natalie Cole