Writings on the Wall

It's taken me over two years to get myself together enough to post something here. Some would say laziness and I wouldn't put it past me. But I will say a lot of it has been just plain anxiety. Not using it as an excuse, however, it is a very real thing.

In the past two years, I've encountered more people with anxiety and it really opened my eyes to some of the issues that I have as well. Anxiety is expressed in many different forms, shapes, ways, and now that I'm married (yes, I got that ring... totally different story) and with all of the changes going on in world today, I am completely exposed. My anxiety is at 10,000! 

I cannot hide it anymore. Social interaction is stressful. I've become sensitized to people's spirits, auras, expressions, etc. I've become comfortable being a recluse; and am uncomfortable in social settings. Me the extreme extrovert is acting like an introvert. The only expression I have that does not send me into frenzied heart palpitations is writing. 

Finally, back to my first love. Back to where this all began. Expressing myself through the written word has always been easier for me. Not that I am a terrible speaker, to the contrary, I am extremely articulate with lots of wit.  Writing helps me to focus my thoughts and aides in the navigation to the depths of what's bothering me. If left to speaking it, you will get everything but that - which is probably why I'm struggling in this severely media age.
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Some would say that the written word is doomed. Most apocalyptical movies show us all continuously fighting for our lives, with few books to guide or entertain us. And as it stands the images we see, speak to the volumes of history that have been hidden in books, letters, papers, and the like. Its as if what was written has been purposely ignored to doom us to cyclical repetition of these same events. Eerily enough, love conquered it back then, love will conquer it again so we are not doomed to this state. Take the time to read it for yourself. The proof has always here and will always remain written. 
 
"I want to feel love, run through my blood, Tell me is this where I give it all up? For you I have to risk it all
'Cause the writing's on the wall" ~ Sam Smith